So, we are having some issues with Boy Scouts right now. If you don't already know, as members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, the Young Men in our church are offered to participate in Boy Scouts. This is the activity/program that they are to participate and be active in from the time they are eight until if they so choose up to Eagle. The issue is...what if your son doesn't want to be a Scout? What are the options? Does he just stop going to activities? Do you tell him to go and just have fun no matter what is going on? Another issue is, we have a very small Young Men's group so its not like its a big active group of Scouts. We have a great Scout Master who tries his best but what does that matter if you don't have the participation and your son doesn't want to do it? Don't get me wrong-I think Scouts is great and I wish my son loved it too but my husband and I won't force him to be a part of it. Of course I want my son to go to activities and have relationships with his fellow church members-its vital during these tough teen years...What I really wish the Church would do is have a completely different program for the Young Men-more like the Young Women's Personal Progress program. There are sooo many Scout programs already set up in towns that if a Young Man really wanted to be a Scout he could. I'm curious what your thoughts are about this topic? What would you do?
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Boy Scouts...what's your stance?
So, we are having some issues with Boy Scouts right now. If you don't already know, as members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, the Young Men in our church are offered to participate in Boy Scouts. This is the activity/program that they are to participate and be active in from the time they are eight until if they so choose up to Eagle. The issue is...what if your son doesn't want to be a Scout? What are the options? Does he just stop going to activities? Do you tell him to go and just have fun no matter what is going on? Another issue is, we have a very small Young Men's group so its not like its a big active group of Scouts. We have a great Scout Master who tries his best but what does that matter if you don't have the participation and your son doesn't want to do it? Don't get me wrong-I think Scouts is great and I wish my son loved it too but my husband and I won't force him to be a part of it. Of course I want my son to go to activities and have relationships with his fellow church members-its vital during these tough teen years...What I really wish the Church would do is have a completely different program for the Young Men-more like the Young Women's Personal Progress program. There are sooo many Scout programs already set up in towns that if a Young Man really wanted to be a Scout he could. I'm curious what your thoughts are about this topic? What would you do?
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There are some Young Men in our ward that don't like scouting, either. The Bishop told them they didn't have to participate in scouts, per se...but he wanted them to come on Wednesday nights and participate in whatever the activity and accomplish their Duty to God. So, the boys are there...they just don't worry about going on campouts and signing anything off. It seems to work.
There is the Duty to God award they can work on. As and I say go to the activities, he will still have fun learn something and don't worry about the rest of the scout stuff they have to do outside of wed activities.
I don't like scouts either, but my boys love it, so we're stuck. I wish the church would get away from it and do something similar to the YW program. Scouting is a huge pain in the rear.
I think the scouting thing will slowly be separated from church...which is why they have the Duty to God. But with three boys in the house, I'm just planning on a lifetime of Pinewood Derby and merit badges.
would he be interested in scouting if it was elsewhere? maybe another pack with some friends from school? i don't think people should feel obligated to enroll in their ward's pack. if you could interest him in getting involved elsewhere, that could be an option.
otherwise, maybe you could show him all the excellent areas within the program (athletics, science, family member, etc.) and explain to him that these are important areas in which to set goals. have him design his own plan to achieve a goal a month in these areas. that way he's still learning, stretching, growing; but it's on his terms. less headaches for everyone.
This is a tricky one...I know the Duty to God program is great and is geared to the more spiritual side of things where scouts is all about being part of a group and learning skills...if you know what I mean.
I think forcing is not a good thing but maybe getting friends to participate with him or having your hubby go with him until he is comfortable might help. Getting into the habit of participating in week night activities is probably the most important thing about the program that he might miss out on by skipping out.
I say pray about it. Your a good mom, every kid is different, you'll do the right thing.
Tough question. I would encourage the Duty to God program and attendance at activities. Is there another ward that your ward could combine with for activities? I wish you were in our ward. Tom is a scout leader and Eagle counselor. He could help you and your boy.
I love your new polka dot sneaks. They make me happy.
This is a tough one. My boys are not scouting age yet. I wish the church would get away from scouting and just focus more on duty to God. At the same time you want your kids to just be obedient and just do it. So I don't know. I am no help.
Hi Liz,
Send me an e-mail sometime, I would LOVE to get caught up with things. Have you heard from Lynn?
wilkinsontod@yahoo.com
:) Renee
interestingly, today was scout sunday in our ward, and i thought of you.
this lady gave a talk and it was about being a mom in scouting. one thing she said that struck me as it relates to your situation was this:
(paraphrasing here...)
as moms, we have a tendency to compare ourselves to other women and what they have accomplished. and we tend to feel guilty when we don't measure up to some perceived standards. your son may not be interested in scouts. he may not like to go, he may never get his eagle. is it still possible for him to have a strong testimony? yes. could he go on a mission? yes. marry in the temple? yes. scouting is not the be all end all, and some boys just don't connect with it. we, as parents, should not beat ourselves up over this.
so. there you have it. i don't know if you were having conflicting feelings for yourself as well as for your son; you can always offer him VERY enticing "incentives" (read: bribes) to go, and maybe he'll like it once he gets involved. there are alternatives (some of which i suggested in my last comment). or you can just say "you know what? this isn't a battle we choose to fight." you may have to fall on your sword entirely elsewhere, so...
good luck with the decision. it's a tough one, i'm sure. i'm not sure we'll make it to eagle over here... but we'll try.
I have kind of a different take on this....I am a Cubmaster for the younger boys and the Advancement person for our older Scouts. I also have three boys that, at times, have had to be pushed, pulled, encouraged strongly to attend and achieve in scouting. My take is this: the church chose this program for a reason, it is not for me to question it, but to be obedient. So that's what we do. As a leader, I do have boys/parents that are not interested, though. We encourage, ask, do all we can and then leave it up to them. I think if we let our kids opt out, we may be setting them up to 'opt out' of other church activities when they get older. It's a hard question. It seems there is no ONE right answer.
here's my two cents. More often than not, kids hate stuff because it's boring. If it's boring, more often than not, it's disorganized. If it's disorganized, more often than not, those running said activity don't have training, or they are overwhelmed with no support. So here's what you can do. Ask what you and ALL the other parents can do to help. Then get everyone in the ward to help by getting everyone to commit to be a merit badge councilor. Everyone can give two 2 hour lessons on something they know about once a year. Each dad can commit to attending one campout with their kid a year. The more people get involved, the better the program is and it can be WAAYYY fun. Good Luck!
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