"My fellow Americans"...These three words combine to create a political cliche that we have heard time and again from both of the (serious) contenders for the Oval Office. The use of this phrase (and the load of hooey that usually follows it) is an obvious attempt by the orator to convey his commonality, and in so doing convince the public that he empathizes with the average citizen in our daily struggles as employees, business owners, patriots, and parents. In the words of Andres Rodriguez, former president of Paraguay, I believe their words to be "Pure Blah-Blah!"
These two chuckleheads have turned the most important debate and decision this side of the red planet into a pissing contest, and I am tired of hearing about lipstick, pigs, Oprah, and snow machines!Enough I say!
If a candidate wants my vote, he is going to have to step it up a notch and enter the arena in which I do battle every day: THE BEDROOM OF MY SIX-YEAR OLD SON:
I want solutions to the following true-to-life issues, and I want them now!
1. Our Troops: A concise plan on stabilization of the region, followed by safe extraction of G.I. Joe from the pile of dirty underwear.
2. Energy: Does my son need all the lights on, all the time?
3. Healthcare: Will I be able to afford the cost of surgery to remove the Legos that are embedded in my feet?
4. Disaster relief: How much is this cleanup going to cost me?
5. The Economy: How can I get a low-cost loan to pay for the cleanup when all the banks are going under?
6. Education: We need government training programs that will teach my son to put his books back on the shelf once he has finished reading them.
In conclusion:
I am not the tightest weave in the linen closet, but I'm no doily either. I wish the candidates would stop farting out of their mouths and discuss issues that matter. I am not buying a cheeseburger, a computer, detergent, or a car; I am voting for my next President. Please stop insulting me with ads that make it seem so much less than it should be, and start being one of "My fellow Americans".
Note from Calibosmom: The opinions expressed above are exactly the same as calibosmom, she just doesn't have the finesse to express them. Thanks FROG!
16 comments:
Oh, I enjoyed that.
The real no spin zone.
Thank you! I really needed a laugh today and that you for for the split in my side.
Very well said. I love the messy room analogoy...so funny but so true. I've never felt this forced to settle for a candidate.
I am TTO'd by the campaign.. TOTALLY TURNED OFF. I used to care.. now I DON'T. I am not even sure if I will vote. SAD.
Seriously. The Ads really are ridiculous!!!
That was so brilliantly written! It truly spoke to me on every level...especially about Healthcare...and being able to remove the Legos that are embedded in your feet.
You are so cute, Calibosmom...I loved how you said that you shared the opinions expressed...
That was great!!! It needs to be a public service announcement....
Pissing contest!! LOL That is the best desription I have heard of the presidential race.
couple of points here:
1. hilariously written. totally true, very clever perspective. loved it.
2. please, please, please give your son one day to clean his room. and when his day is up, go through with a trashbag and ditch whatever he missed.
3. he has a LOT of toys. probably more than my three kids combined. donate some. downsizing is good for the economy, right?
sorry- i'm opinionated. i'm just totally shocked by those pictures!!
Thanks for the great political post. Please do a follow up post with the after shot of the clean, organized, downsized room.
Ha! That was GOOO-ood!
Well, we all know what they say about opinions and the "opinionated"...
Yes the ads are pretty crazy and seemed to be geared to emotion rather than intellect. Have you been watching the soin offs on Saturday Night Live?
Almost as funny as this post. Way to go with the down to earth political questions!
That should be spin offs. You should know by now that I can't type!
perfectly stated.
Brittany for president.
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