So Andrea asked for an update when and if I needed to address the
Miley Cyrus issue with my Hannah (see yesterdays post) so I thought I'd share. I got home after she had already gone to bed last night but my husband said that he overheard my Hannah and her friend discussing
Miley. He couldn't really tell what they were talking about but he knew something was up. I didn't want this to go by the wayside so this morning I went in her room and asked her if she knew what was going on about
Miley Cyrus. She did not want to talk to me and tried to avoid answering me but I kept asking and told her it was important we talk about what was going on. I told her she wasn't in trouble but she needed to tell me what was being said. She asked me why she needed to tell me when I already knew so I said it was important that she knew the truth and I wanted her to feel comfortable talking to me about stuff that she may not understand. I then told her that if we couldn't talk about it, she would have to take down her Hannah Montana poster and no more music or shows. She very promptly told me that a girl at school said that
Miley was pregnant. I then had to tell my 9 YEAR OLD that in fact she was not pregnant. I then told her that
Miley had some inappropriate pictures taken of herself which she is now embarrassed about but its too late-the pictures are out. I told her that dad and I would be watching
Miley very closely from now on and if she keeps making bad choices then
Miley was no longer welcome in our home. I told my Hannah that it was important to have good role models. Hannah seemed relieved to talk about it and understood consequence. I haven't yet but I think I will show her the pictures because I want her to know what
inappropriate is. What do you think? To show or not to show?
11 comments:
i think you handled that very well!
as far as "to show or not to show", i would say that you should show her. the reason is that she will probably see it eventually. i would rather show my daughter so we can talk about it rather than have her see it for the first time when i am not around. just my thoughts!
good luck!
I don't know.. my daughter is young enough I wouldn't show her. But I might show a 9 year old. I wouldn't want her to "wonder" about what "inappropriate" means, and it might be a good opportunity to tell her WHY those are inappropriate. But, I am not sure. I would have to mull it over for a while. :)
You have handled it so well...I guess there is a HUGE likelihood that she will see the pictures out there (they are already all over) so, I think it would be good to show her and have a discussion about why the pictures are not appropriate. I don't know...someone could argue that you shouldn't show her because you would never show her something pornographic but, I think you can make it a strong teachable moment.
I really do like how you handled it....how you explained that if she continues to make poor choices that Miley is not welcome in your house.
i agree with everyone, you have handled it so well. i don't think i would show her the pictures, as much as discuss what would constitute an inappropriate picture. if you exchanged suggestions, that would drive the point home without providing an inappropriate visual.
my heart is breaking because my stepdaughter is a huge miley fan. my husband asked her mother today if they had discussed it, and the mother basically said if the daughter has questions, she'll ask. way to be proactive, huh? we are going to talk with her a little bit over the phone, but i wish so badly they could be with us when stuff like this comes along. and sadly, i'm sure this is just the beginning of "stuff like this".
I hate that we have to worry about all this crap...
Where are all the good girls in Hollywood????
Nice job. Well played! :) If she wants to see them show her if she doesn't ask then I wouldn't force the issue.
Way to go! I think you handled it perfectly. You turned this yucky thing into a wonderful teaching moment. It's opening the door for Hannah to know that she can talk to you about anything...
I'd probably show my daughter the picture and explain why it's inappropriate, but that's just me. Really, I think you are an inspired mom and you'll know what to do for your kid.
I had to deal with Clinton with my boys and Brittany with my daughter.UGG! About the pics, go with your gut.
I vote for don't show, don't talk about it any longer unless there are further issues or questions...harping on any subject too much with a child tends to take away some of the strength of the original message. You handled it great the first time so no need to fine tune anything. Kids grow through these hollywood teen role models so fast..by the age of 18 they remember nothing of the role model's behavoior yet remember every second of how you reacted to it...less is more in this case.
Show her! But only after you know for sure what inappropriate is. What I mean is, is it because she is showing back skin? What about girls in a JC Penny catalog selling bras and panties or a backless one piece bathing suit? My point is is you have to be clear about why this is inappropriate. What is the intention of the photo? You can still sell sex with plenty of clothes on. It's not just that you can see her bare back. Ask her if she sees anything wrong with it, how does she feel when she looks at it? Unfortunately, nine is not too young for this discussion anymore. We can cry about it, we just can't ignore it. Pray about it, then barrel through. You're a brilliant mommy! Lucky Hannah!
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